10 Things Challenge

I know I start a lot of weekly posts that end up becoming bi-monthly and then seem to fade into never-posts, but this one I’m not holding to a certain day. It’ll be each week (hopefully) whenever I have ten things ready to plop down as what I’m thankful for.

Yeah, this is a thankfulness challenge! Because thanksgiving isn’t just a holiday. And sometimes a week gets crazy and it’s good to sit back and appreciate what God’s given you–you, meaning me. I know, I turned this to myself. I’m so selfish. SELFISH BETH!

Top 10 Things I’m Thankful For
(this week)

1. Plaid tops
   I can’t exactly explain why. I find feminine plaid tops wonderful. Maybe that seems like a contradiction; feminine plaid, but when the cut and color is appealing to me, I’m so very happy in plaid. Cut and color… I make them sound like diamonds.
2. Thrift stores
   The place in which plaid shirts of my liking can be found! As well as many other treasures, like the little yellow purse I bought this week for $13 though the brand new tag on it said $34. WOOHOO!
3. Strawberries
   We had some on the 4 berry sundae I had this afternoon, and then more fresh ones for dinner. I love strawberries. <3
4. Soft serve
   Self explanatory. Ice cream in its simplest, most delightful form.
5. Empty laundry baskets
   A rare thing indeed in this house. I really need to empty some… and I don’t mean onto the floor.
6. Toasted asiago cheese bagels
   With onion and chive cream cheese! Soooo delicious! When the edges are golden brown, there’s a magic that happens. And they are consumed quickly. I may be drooling…
7. The Panera bingo game
   At work, we’re currently undergoing a friendly competition with our sister stores, and each other. (Last I heard our location was winning! YAY!) The cashiers all get bingo cards at the beginning of the lunch hour and for each unique bakery item we persuade a guest to add on to their drink and meal, we mark one down on the card. Each bingo gets you a prize, and three bingos gets you a free meal! I’ve had several free meals this way. It’s a wonderful system that I am most thankful for. I have no idea what I’ll do when I have to actually pay for lunch again. Heehee.
8. Asian eyebrows
   I used to hate my eyebrows. Seriously. It seems like all the prettier actresses, the makeup models, the hair color poster women, and even my friends have those nice arching eyebrows that show more expression than my… straight dashed… whatever you call ‘em.

   
   Then I started watching a Korean drama, and I discovered something amazing! I’m not the only one with eyebrows like mine! I guess it makes sense, being that I have the almond eyes. Might as well have the eyebrows to match, right? And that’s not to say I didn’t find a lot of Asian eyebrows that were more arched and model-like as well, but it was a Korean actress who first opened my eyes (hah!) to the fact that my eyebrows aren’t freakish.

   

9. 7 year old humor.
   My little sister is hilarious. I don’t think she means to be. Well, sometimes she does, but whether intentional or not, she says the funniest things! Sadly, no examples come to mind at the moment, but she’s been making me laugh all week.
10. Parents who are all about staying up past 4am to watch a royal wedding.
    I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who don’t care about such things, (uncultured swine, the lot of them!) but I’m quite proud to be able to say that I stayed up past 4 in the morning to watch the beautiful ceremony live. Then I took a nap and set my alarm so I could get up to see the kiss from the Buckingham Palace balcony. I’m returning to England next summer! I was obligated to do it! And I feel no regret.

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A Girl Worth Fighting For!

I’ve been exhausted by a battle speech. See, there’s this kingdom…

You probably thought this post was going to be about a girl, didn’t you?? Fooled you! (Ignoring the fact that the entire story focuses on a ‘girl’ and the way this kingdom is affected by her coming to it.) I just put that line as the post title because it was in my head. Hehehe.

Anyway, I took this kingdom and I attacked it with another kingdom. (Pause for devious chuckle.) Now they have to go to war. Or maybe war is too catastrophic a term. But there will be battles. People will be killed, have been killed. Men with weapons are assembled. There’s just one thing that was missing… the rousing pre-battle speech.

To be fair to myself, it isn’t missing anymore. I did write it. I’m just doubting it right now. I mean, come on. I’ve never had to start a war! I’ve never had to rally the troops! The closest thing to that in my experience has been getting a group of little ones to tear themselves away from one of those activity tables in the doctor’s office in order to get checkups. Which is not an easy feat, but still not quite the same as a battle speech. So I need to perfect this speech. When I gain enough courage to look at it again.

With a friend’s reminders of some epic battle speeches, and my own memory of the best in movies, I did my research beforehand. The best speeches I remember are from Lord of the Rings, Henry V, Braveheart, Gladiator…etc.

Regardless of my struggles to spit out something inspiring, this is incredibly fun research, and I have come across several great speeches from history and other points of interest.

Henry V St. Crispin’s Day Speech

Right Here

If it doesn’t make you want to swoosh a sword around, I don’t know what will.

This speech given by Colonel Tim Collins 20 miles from the Iraqi border in March of 2003 is absolutely amazing:

Read it HERE. <—Click it. Read it. It gave me shivers. The good kind that make you want to do something grand and self-sacrificing. Makes me proud to be… um… part Irish.

Sharpe’s Speech

5:25 of this video

I know I have but the body of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart of a king, and of a king of England, too; and think foul scorn that Parma or Spain, or any prince of Europe, should dare to invade the borders of my realms: to which, rather than any dishonor should grow by me, I myself will take up arms; I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of every one of your virtues in the field. I know already, by your forwardness, that you have deserved rewards and crowns; and we do assure you, on the word of a prince, they shall be duly paid you. In the mean my lieutenant general shall be in my stead, than whom never prince commanded a more noble and worthy subject; not doubting by your obedience to my general, by your concord in the camp, and by your valor in the field, we shall shortly have a famous victory over the enemies of my God, of my kingdom, and of my people. -Elizabeth I

Alexander – Battle of Gaugamela

2:00 for the speech to start

I also found this, which didn’t help me write a single word, but it was somehow greatly humorous as well as inspiring.

Here are some notes I took down from all this speech browsing in an effort to perfect my fictional battle rally.

• Address them by name.
  Make it more personal. Like Bilbo’s farewell speech in FOTR when he lists off the Boffins, Boldgers, Bracegirdles…etc, the speech-giver should make it clear that he knows those he’s addressing. “YOU! Hey YOU! I’m talking to YOU! FIIIIIIGHT WITH MEEEE!”
• Give them a cause.
  These men might die. Some of them will. I don’t believe “Grab your weapons; let’s have a brawl!” is going to work. Considering that my army is on the defensive, I’m putting their cause down as protection of fellow countrymen, the preservation of livelihood and ultimate safety of their city.
• Give them glory.
  What’s in it for them? I guess this sometimes goes along with the cause, but maybe there should be a bonus reason. Like names being immortalized in history. Or, the fact that bakers, butchers, merchants… they’re all soldiers now as they take up swords together under the king’s banner. That’s a kind of equalizer, right? Let’s hope it sounds good when I read it back to myself.
• Put down the opposition.
  Once the attention is got, the men itching for action, and the reward made clear, slam the enemy. Explain why our side is WINNING and the other is simply not.
• Stop making comparisons.
  I’m never going to write like Tolkien or Shakespeare! GUH! So I should stop trying to and just write like Beth. Right?

It’s done. I wrote it and now I fell completely spent. I had no idea writing a battle speech could be so emotionally draining. I have the ultimate respect for all those who ever rallied the troops with a rousing speech. There should be a medal for grand speeches!

God bless and goodnight.

P.S. If you’re in agony because that song is now in your head, you might as well listen to it. So here.

A giiirl worth fiiighting fooooor!!

Got that out of my system. Now it’s bedtime fo’ realz.

Fraiday Naayte EweTewb!1!

Because I can.

Klay World: Fun Pole

If you enjoy Llamas With Hats, you will enjoy these adorably morbid claymations.

Cautionary statement: All these pretty much end in (and involve) violence. Juuust so you know. Clay violence. But violence.

The moral of that story; don’t listen to peer pressure.

Klay World: Not Your Friend Anymore

Not The Favorite

Lois and Clark

Best Superman ever. Oh yes, it’s plenty cheesy. Also the first “grown up” show I was allowed to watch. Mumsie and I bonded over episodes. Heehee. And it’s still one of the only versions of Superman I can stand.

Haha! Okay, this clip made me giggle, but the first comment on it made me laugh outright:

Clark is in the Friendzone
muchohumpty 1 week ago

HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!

While we’re on the subject, Smallville makes me snork. I was just watching clips of it and I kept laughing!! I used to watch that show, but it got too soap operaish for me. I don’t like shows where the couple that everyone knows is meant to be together takes twenty thousand seasons to even meet and each of them date four or five other people first. And after Teri Hatcher, I can’t really approve another Lois. This one looks OLD to me. Like… in her 40′s old. Mmmmno.

Clark/Lois Cheese

Unfortunately, this makes them look kind of cute. Darnit. Now I sort of kind of want to watch this show again. Just the Clark/Lois eppies! This is why YouTube surfing is DANGEROUS!!!

Eragon Deleted Scene

This movie was retarded. But absolutely hilarious in its deviation from the books. I just found this stupid deleted scene and I couldn’t stop laughing! It’s so funny how they tried to throw in Katrina’s character like that! I mean… it’s horrible! But so funny!

Dorky Eragon Videos

This one user has a goldmine of Eragon parody videos. They’re probably the best thing that ever came of that movie. In fact, I should stop looking at these or I’ll start a rant on the idiocy of book-to-movie fails.

Jim Halpert Love

Declaring Bankruptcy

If Guys Were Like Girls

Probably my favorite video ever. (I say that a lot! But it’s true every time! )

Wanted Hero

This is soooooo me. Not Flynn. The ad. Yeah. I’d send out an ad like that. Hehehe.

And a strawberry smoothie WITH WHIPPED CREAM

I could have just put this as a comment on Mara’s post, but I already gave her two full paragraphs of head-nodding through text, and this may prove to be a rant of my own. So I’m playing it safe and making a new post.

If you read Mara’s post there, you’ll see it’s a rant about ‘kids these days’; predominately the trouble with youngsters and their relationship drama. Drama which should not be occurring–we believe–at their age. Along with that she talks about the lack of respect kids have for their parents, and that reminded me of something horrible that I witnessed at work a couple days back.

I was standing at my register during a slow hour when a man and his young daughter walked into the cafe. The man was overweight, but not by a lot, and his daughter couldn’t have been older than thirteen. As he saunters in, browsing our pastry selection (the bakery display was looking rather nice at that time if I do say so myself) his daughter walks straight up to my register with her arms crossed and starts ordering. She doesn’t wait for her dad, she doesn’t ask permission to order her soup in a bread bowl, she just assumes he’s going to supply her every whim and orders what she wants. And that’s exactly how she orders, too. Now it irks me enough when a full grown adult comes up and says, “I want this and give me that,” without so much as a pause or please to see if my fingers are keeping up with the order, but when a skinny little bur-at who’s using her father as an ATM does it, my ire is provoked. And when I’m angry, I’m sickeningly sweet. I couldn’t chew her out, because I didn’t want to embarrass her father any further by reminding him what a horrible job raising his kid he’d done. Come to think of it, I should have… but I really like my job and don’t want to lose it! That little twerp wasn’t worth my temper flaring.

But back to the story! I get through tapping in her soup and smoothie, and by this time her dad’s reached the register and has his sandwich picked out, so I ask if he’d like a 99 cent bakery treat in addition to that. He says he’ll have to look and goes back to the bakery display. At this, his daughter crosses her arms again and rolls her eyes with a disgusted disgusting huff at his indecision. There was no one else in line. The food was already being made. That child was not starving or going to faint from standing a few seconds longer while her dad picked out a pastry. I was this close to coming around the corner and smacking that scowl right off her face. I wanted to so bad. Instead I waited patiently on her dad, and made a point of calling him “sir” and addressing him with any questions about the order rather than asking the delusional queen of the universe.

I want the world! I want the whole world!

We returned to the register after I methodically wrapped his pastry, asked if he wanted extra napkins, asked if he would like to take a knife and fork with his treat, asked if there was anything else I could get him, and basically prolonged the girl’s agony as long as possible (yes, I have a bratty streak of my own) and finally we exchanged money for a receipt and his daughter trounced away with her straight blonde hair swishing like an invitation to be yanked. (Good thing I can’t be fired for the things I think. )

But that was not the last I was to see of Bratty McBratjeans. I had to make her a strawberry smoothie, “with whipped cream.” And yes, she said it in italics as if I wouldn’t understand otherwise. “And a strawberry smoothie, with whipped cream.” That was going to be my next question, numskull. But you wouldn’t know that being as you’ve never worked a day in your life and don’t understand cashier scripts. Once again, I had to bite my tongue so the words, “Youngling, I fear your rashness will hasten your fall to the dark side” didn’t escape from me. I also wanted to say, “I could poison your food, you disrespectful punk! Stand there while I tweak your ears!” but again… I like my job.

And guess what? I didn’t poison the smoothie. I didn’t spit in it. I didn’t put any less than a full serving. I didn’t even skimp on the whipped cream. I just shook my head mournfully at the state of modern youth and told the blender that I had to keep my cool and heap those biblical coals of fire over her head. The funny thing is, she didn’t do anything particularly bad to me. Sure, she was a condescending brat, but it was her dad she was dreadfully ungrateful to. That’s what ticked me off.

My family has never been wealthy by any financial reckoning. And even before there were 10 of us kids to split things between, my mother was always frugal with spending while my father took care not to reward us for greed. I learned when I was little that I couldn’t always have that gumball I coveted, or the cereal with marshmallows and toys inside, and when I was given treats it was all the more special. To this day, after having a job and knowing even more about the cost of a dollar, I’m absolutely thrilled when mum buys me a pancake breakfast, or dad stops for burgers on the way home from thrift store shopping. And to think that little girl’s dad was missing out on all that joy. What did he get for his pains? An eye roll, a condescending huff, and a wallet that was $15 lighter.

While I poured the strawberry smoothie from the blender into the cup, I thought about all the little goodies and toys my parents had got for me over the years, and how wonderful it was that they said no sometimes–okay, make that a lot of times. The joy I had over my favorite brown-eyed, squishy bodied dolly would not have been so great if I had twenty more at home. The excitement I still feel over a smoldering corndog is not something I’d replace with over-indulgence on them as a youngster. All these thoughts mixed together and made me feel so very sorry for the girl’s dad. He was missing out on a lot by raising his daughter to believe it was okay to be self centered and covetous, and he wasn’t doing her any favors by it, either.

The run in with Little Miss Obnoxious ended when I handed her the smoothie and in my drippiest, most syrupy, condescending tone said, “Here you are, sweetie. Have a great day with your dad.” I held back the urge to say, “I hope you don’t choke.”

I thank God for the mothers who come into my bakery with their strollers and arms full and can say, “No chocolate milk kids, just regulars today” without their kids spazzing out and demanding otherwise. I thank Him for the fathers that can look at a whining toddler and say, “No,” with a firm voice and that’s all it takes to hush them up.

I thank Him for my own mum and dad and I give Him all the credit for placing me in a family that was raised to be thankful.

So everyone with parents who ever bought you a toy, a meal, a car, or… whatever! go give them a hug and say thanks. Right now. Because relating this story has made me sad. And thinking of parents being hugged makes me a little happier.

Psalm 107:8
Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men!