Beauty killed the beast

Oh, no, it wasn’t the airplanes. It was Beauty killed the Beast.

I hate that ending line. So. Much.

I’m not exactly sure why, but I can surmise.

I think, quite possibly, I hate it a lot because any phrase including both the words “beauty” and “beast” should be a reference to the most gorgeous fairy tale ever written. The fact that it’s used instead in reference to a gorilla who was never at any time a man with human body parts and faculties, (not to mention a royal title, huge castle and a rose garden) but nonetheless seems to have fallen in love with a blonde woman is rather disturbing. Kind of like the Beauty and the Beast retelling I read where the Beast didn’t actually transform back into a man in the end and the “beauty” in question was all happy and okay with it. I was like, “Whaaaaa…” and then my brain died because it didn’t want to think about… that.

Also, I dislike tragedies. (And by that I mean my definition of the word tragedy, which normally is: Two stupid people being “in love” and disregarding their brains in order to act on lusty impulses and/or failing to communicate properly because love apparently made them imbeciles, resulting in the death of one or both of the lovebirds which is really not sad because we were sick of them being idiots and never learning anything of value or resolving our frustrations anyway.) So to imply that beauty killed the beast is terrible. To imply she killed him because she was just too beautiful and his sudden overwhelment* caused an untimely death is stupid. Or if it was because she softened him and he no longer had the rage to fend off a bunch of airplanes, that’s also terrible and probably worse than the first. At least the first concept carried with it a certain comedic relief.

Ex: He's so pretty, I could DIE!!

That’s another thing I don’t get! What is it with all these heroines being anti-manliness? Don’t you want a man who’s mighty in battle? I sure do! What am I talking about? Well, look at Christine Daae. She’s absolutely terrified of this Phantom person who keeps stalking her and pretending to be the spirit of her dead dad, but when her suitor gets the chance to slay the fellow, she’s all blubbering, “No, Raoul! Not like this!” In no way do I condone the killing of Phantoms. I’m just saying; if I was in a similar position, I’d be… well… it wouldn’t have even got that bad because I would have made up my dang mind about who I was going to be with, but that’s not the point!

Beauty doesn’t kill the beast. She saves his life with her love. End of story. And they live happily ever after with lots of half-werewolf babies. (That was a Harry Potter reference, not a Twilight one. IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING.)

~B~

*This video I linked to is the only reasonable explanation I will accept of someone dying from the overwhelment of beauty.

Dear Future Person of Mine

Letter Challenge Day Fifteen – The Person You Miss the Most

Dear Future of Mine,

You may ask how I can miss someone I don’t know. The answer is in the question. I don’t know. It’s kind of like saying, “I miss the nineteenth century.” Sure, I’ve never actually been to the nineteenth century, but knowing it was there once and that others had it makes me feel like I missed out in certain ways. (*cough*Bustles*cough*)

See the delightful poof on the back? That's a bustle. Love it. Now.

I do know that sometimes I feel as if a big part of me is missing. Like the greatest adventure of my life will be knowing you’re the one and being able to finish planning my life accordingly. Sometimes I admit to myself I’m selfish for feeling like I miss you. I have eleven immediate family members who all love me considerably, I’ve got the most amazing friends both near and far…

Neeaaah… faaaah… whereeeever yooou aaah!

[Spoiler Alert!! Crackah Jack and Jack die. Water freeze them dead.]

…and I already possess the ultimate love from my Lord and Savior. You’d think that would be enough for anyone. Even more than enough. But then, I want my own branch of the family tree too, and that’s not a totally unreasonable desire. RIGHT!?!? Ahem.

Whoever you are, I don’t intend to miss you for the rest of my life if I can possibly help it. But I’m not the one that’s supposed to go out and bring you home. You’re supposed to come to me. But when and where and how?? God’s been trying to teach me patience in this matter since I was fourteen years old and Daddy made the mistake of saying, “I wonder who you’ll marry, Bethany?” I’m still a really bad student, I’m afraid. :/ Yep. Still in a hurry to know everything so I can have a plan. It never registers with me that I could have a plan devoid of you, actually. You should be flattered, Mr. He-Who-Is-Yet-To-Be-Named, because you’re the unclaimed compass of my long term direction. <-Look, that was like poetry!! I think I’m on a sugar high.

If I do miss out on you, I’m going to have to put aside my dreams of teaching my own kids how to read, painting every room in a new house, and baking things of excellence for you. I’ll have to just… get odd jobs, travel the world, write fiction full time, and volunteer at children’s hospitals or whatever else I can do to fill up a life. I won’t be an unproductive blot on society or a stagnant waste of space, and I won’t turn into sea foam and float away if you never turn up, (oh, silly little mermaid) but I do think it would be sad not to get to do those domestic wifely things at some point.

I once said I wouldn’t get married until I was 30. Mostly because I’m so big on passing long term friendship stages before anything else, and depending on if and when you show up, it’ll take a while for you to know me thoroughly and vice-versa. Ooo, Latin! That’s an attempt to look intellectual. Fear my intellectualness! (I’m aware that’s not a word, thankyouverymuch.)

I want to know, are you…

Intelligent?

Athletic?

Hilarious?

Adventurous?

Sweet?

Heroic?

A looker?

Or all of the above? Be that. Are you that? Please be that.

I look forward to finding out. Until then, I miss you the most! Hehe.

With Possible Future Love if You Intend on Existing,

Beth & a less than three