Letter Challenge Day Fifteen – The Person You Miss the Most
Dear Future of Mine,
You may ask how I can miss someone I don’t know. The answer is in the question. I don’t know. It’s kind of like saying, “I miss the nineteenth century.” Sure, I’ve never actually been to the nineteenth century, but knowing it was there once and that others had it makes me feel like I missed out in certain ways. (*cough*Bustles*cough*)
I do know that sometimes I feel as if a big part of me is missing. Like the greatest adventure of my life will be knowing you’re the one and being able to finish planning my life accordingly. Sometimes I admit to myself I’m selfish for feeling like I miss you. I have eleven immediate family members who all love me considerably, I’ve got the most amazing friends both near and far…
[Spoiler Alert!! Crackah Jack and Jack die. Water freeze them dead.]
…and I already possess the ultimate love from my Lord and Saviour. You’d think that would be enough for anyone. Even more than enough. But then, I want my own branch of the family tree too, and that’s not a totally unreasonable desire. RIGHT!?!? Ahem.
Whoever you are, I don’t intend to miss you for the rest of my life if I can possibly help it. But I’m not the one that’s supposed to go out and bring you home. You’re supposed to come to me. But when and where and how?? God’s been trying to teach me patience in this matter since I was fourteen years old and Daddeh made the mistake of saying, “I wonder who you’ll marry, Bethany?” I’m still a really bad student, I’m afraid. :/ Yep. Still in a hurry to know everything so I can have a plan. It never registers with me that I could have a plan devoid of you, actually. You should be flattered, Mr. He-Who-Is-Yet-To-Be-Named, because you’re the unclaimed compass of my long term direction. <-Look, that was like poetry!! I think I’m on a sugar high.
If I do miss out on you, I’m going to have to put aside my dreams of teaching my own kids how to read, painting every room in a new house, and baking things of excellence for you. I’ll have to just… get odd jobs, travel the world, write fiction full time, and volunteer at children’s hospitals or whatever else I can do to fill up a life. I won’t be an unproductive blot on society or a stagnant waste of space, and I won’t turn into sea foam and float away if you never turn up, (oh, silly little mermaid) but I do think it would be sad not to get to do those domestic wifely things at some point.
I once said I wouldn’t get married until I was 30. Mostly because I’m so big on passing long term friendship stages before anything else, and depending on if and when you show up, it’ll take a while for you to know me thoroughly and vice-versa. Ooo, Latin! That’s an attempt to look intellectual. Fear my intellectualness! (I’m aware that’s not a word, thankyouverymuch.)
I want to know, are you…
I look forward to finding out. Until then, I miss you the most! Hehe.
With Possible Future Love if You Intend on Existing,
Beth & a less than three