Music & Lyrics

Is it cold out there or is it just you?

This is a stupid title. I was lazy. So sue me. I’d be too lazy to contest it.

My bestie and I had an idea to rewrite some well known Christmas songs (that are utterly annoying) and sing them (maybe) for some silly album. This will never be done in time for Christmas. Well. Maybe the lyrics will. The singing part may never happen.

I’m posting the “new” lyrics to this particular song because of Cappy’s post that was like one half of my mind running away to attach itself to her cranium. Thanks a lot, mind. Anyway, it deserved a response.

But really, the post great. You should read it. Now you’ve had two chances to click it. If you’ve still failed, you’re a loser at life.

Baby It’s Cold Outside (new lyrics by me.)

I really can’t stay – Baby it’s cold outside
I’ve got to get away – Baby it’s cold outside
Your actions have been – Been hoping that you’d drop in
So full of vice – I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice
My mother will be in a flurry – Beautiful, what’s your hurry
My father knows policemen next door – Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I’d better scurry – Beautiful, please don’t hurry
No, please don’t do that thing anymore – Put some music on while I pour

I think I might faint – Baby, it’s bad out there
Say, what’s in this drink – No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how – Your eyes are like starlight
To flee this hell – I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I’ll say again no, no, no, sir – Mind if I move closer
Could I reach the door if I tried? – What’s the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can’t stay – Baby don’t hold out
Ahh, but it’s cold outside

I simply must go – Baby, it’s cold outside
The answer is no – Ooh darling, it’s cold outside
This welcome has been – I’m lucky that you dropped in
Unpleasantly warm – Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious – Your lips look delicious
My brother will be knocking down doors – Waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt’s dog is vicious – Gosh your lips are delicious
Oh goodness, now your shirt’s on the floor – Never such a blizzard before

I want to go home – Oh, baby, you’ll freeze out there
Why does everything float – It’s up to your knees out there
My head’s full of sand – I thrill when you touch my hand
And I can’t see – How can you do this thing to me?
They’ll find me I’m sure tomorrow – Think of my life long sorrow
And everyone will know that you lied – If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can’t stay – Get over that hold out
Ahh, but it’s cold outside

Baby it’s cold outside

[frantic whisper] Help me!

And with that, a Happy Christmas to you all!


2 thoughts on “Is it cold out there or is it just you?

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