Miscellaneous · Uncategorized

Huffleclaw Pride

So two Hufflepuffs walked into a bar…

Heard this one already? No!? Well that’s unfortunate because I didn’t come with an actual joke prepared. I was just stalling to get past this very large Huffleclaw crest I wanted displayed here. Ope! Almost there! I’m sorry, did you want a Hufflepuff joke? I can go look for one if that pleases you. It appears we’ve got past the crest anyway, so I won’t bother.

Hufflepuffs seem to have procured this stereotype of being disgustingly sweet pushovers and a little air-headed. I don’t get that. Nowhere in Harry Potter lore does it state that those are the characteristics of a Hufflepuff. In fact, the only attributes I see listed are: loyalty, dedication, and hard work.

I blame Cedric Diggory. He’s such a puffball of a person. And since he’s the most remembered Hufflepuff, it’s his fault that everyone associates that house with the outrageously inept. To be a bit more fair, maybe it’s Robert Pattinson’s portrayal of him. Either way… his fault.

So what is a true Hufflepuff really like? Well, you could ask me, but I’m only mostly Hufflepuff. When I was sorted I tied with Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw but ultimately the Hat put me in Hufflepuff. [THE standard for your in-depth Hat Sorting. It prevents cheating. I accept results from this quiz ONLY.] This makes me a Huffleclaw. To avoid confusion, I get all my memorabilia in the standard yellow and black. The loyalty part of me doesn’t feel right with a foot in each house, so I’ll stand by mine. If civil war is pronounced, you know where I’ll be. Hiding behind Slytherin friends. Okay, that didn’t help my mission to undo the deeply rooted stereotypes of the Hogwarts houses. I apologize.

Oh, look! I found a joke!

How many Hufflepuffs does it take to light a wand?

One. But they’re so loyal he’ll tell you it took the whole house.

Hehe. I like that one. It shows we’re smarter than we appear. But I’m sure my pointing out the problem hasn’t gone too far in squelching the confusion. In the hopes of educating the other houses on the traits of a Huffleclaw, here are some instances in which I would differ from my other-housed friends.

Note: These are all personal What-I-Would-Dos. I do not claim full accuracy to what J.K.Rowling intended for the house characteristics. ‘Tis all in good fun.

1. I have a small pie. Four of my friends will sit with me at lunch, but the pie is, as I said, small.

Hufflepuff: Cuts the pie as evenly as possible so there’s enough to go around.
Ravenclaw: Hosts a competition in which the winner gets to consume half.
Huffleclaw: Gives the whole pie to a Slytherin just to mess with their heads and prevent picking favorites. Well, and to do a good deed. Bwahaha! Good deeds.

2. Somehow I’ve bested a villain who has hurt/killed many dear to me. I’m standing over him with a killing curse on my lips…

Hufflepuff: Kills him to avenge loved ones and rid the world of evil.
Ravenclaw: Keeps him alive to interrogate, through which there is a possibility of saving more from death.
Huffleclaw: Keeps him alive, knowing a life long imprisonment in Azkaban would be far more torturous than death. Hehe. More good deeds.

3. Dumbledore’s giving a private lecture on the caution one must take when dealing with certain students who are suspected of being Death Eaters and I find myself stuck listening to it.

Hufflepuff: Remains silent while not actually listening to a word… Do those ridiculous spectacles actually help him see?
Ravenclaw: Purposefully distracts by correcting his grammar and questioning his ability to protect the students of Hogwarts.
Huffleclaw: Assures him I will befriend all those suspected of being Death Eaters for the purpose of spying them out and possibly turning them to good. Gets a tattoo of the Dark Mark to “back up my cover story.”

4. Theme song time!

Hufflepuff: Why Can’t We Be FriendsHere
Ravenclaw: Dansbanan – Here
Huffleclaw: That’s A Woman Preview Here
P.S. My heart is smashed into pieces because I can no longer find the Celtic Thunder video of this song on YouTube. *weeps*

5. I received a poor grade in Potions.

Hufflepuff: Accepts it with a longsuffering sigh and determines to work harder from now on.
Ravenclaw: Claims that such a low grade is impossible and demands the test be regraded.
Huffleclaw: Accepts it with stoicism and then cries later in the girl’s dormitory, convinced the world is at an end.

6. I was unable to obtain signatures from my living progenitors and am therefore unable to accompany my friends to Hogsmeade.

Hufflepuff: Bands together with other kids who had to stay behind to make an entertaining–and legal–night of it at Hogwarts.
Ravenclaw: Uses the alone time to concoct an alcoholic version of butterbeer to sell to the first years as a social experiment.
Huffleclaw: Has planned on this for weeks in advance being full aware of parental disapproval and is equipped with forgeries of signatures for all the students left behind.

7. My patronus…

Hufflepuff: Bunny
Ravenclaw: Tigress
Huffleclaw: Penguin

And just to leave it on a Hufflepuff note…




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