How Tos · Uncategorized · Writing Snippets & Exercises

How To Write Like a Pro

Step 1.

Open document. Stare.

Step 2.

Remember you didn’t brush your teeth yet. Brush them.

Step 3.

Open a new document to put down notes about a mermaid story your teeth brushing inspired.

Step 4.

Write 400 words of mermaid story.

Step 5.

Text your Beta to tell her how well writing is going.

Step 6.

Feel good about the amount of words you wrote and start watching Phantom of the Opera.

Step 7.

Be reminded of your Phantom fic. Open that document. Commence writing.

Step 8.

Remember you have half a chocolate chip muffie in the cupboard. Retrieve it (with milk) and consume.

Step 9.

Be inspired to write a blog about how effective your writing methods are.

Step 10.

Write blog post.

Step 11.

Return to Phantom story. Realize that none of this qualifies as “original work” and look to finish something “original.”

Step 12.

Gaze at Mara’s Weekly Writing Challenge picture. Deliberate on whether or not to write something for it.

Step 13.

Promise yourself an episode of H2O for every 200 words you write.

Step 14.

Sign up for Netflix and finish that Dr. Who episode that wasn’t buffering on your other streaming hosts.

Step 15.

Open the document for the chapter due Friday.

Step 16.

Find pictures of friends’ Switzerland trip and comment on the majority. See puppies in one and be reminded of Equilibrium.

Step 17.

Look for the puppy scene in Equilibrium on YouTube. Watch it.

Step 18.

Answer texts from best friend asking how writing’s going.

Step 19.

Come back and add more steps to blog post.

Step 20.

Miraculously write 2,000 words in one day because you failed to finish your goals on two previous nights since you were busy completing all the other steps of how to write like a pro.


6 thoughts on “How To Write Like a Pro

  1. This is SO me. I do these exact same things! I’m doing it right now, in fact, whilst attempting to write a short story! :D
    And those headings that were different sizes freaked me out at first – thought I was seeing things! :P

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