It feels like cheating to keep posting dreams, but they amuse me and perhaps you fair readers enjoy a dream post more than no post at all?
I’m finding a piece of wood to knock on.
I was taking a class on “Computer Business,” which is strange because those are the last two subjects I’d choose to take a class for, let alone commit to studying such a weird mesh of both. All the students had their laptops out in a classroom that looked a lot like the one in Legally Blonde.
In case it matters in the least, I was wearing my glasses and had a short haircut and a gray pencil skirt and looked at least five years older. But I wasn’t. I was still 20-almost-21.
There was one other student who had his back turned to the professor and was sitting just in front and to the left of him, almost like a court reporter. His seating position didn’t seem at all out of place in the dream. I guess they were out of other seats. Anyway, this oddly-placed student was Ben from Parks and Recreation, and I was thinking how cool it was to share a class with him and I’d better not answer any questions out loud in case I made an idiot of myself.
I had a question on an essay we were assigned to write on “Consumer Appeal.” (I’m actually surprised it wasn’t on something less relevant, like “War of the Bongos: Drum versus Antelope.” And perhaps slightly disappointed.) I walked up to the professor to ask if there was a limit on word count, hoping Ben’s close proximity didn’t mean he could hear our conversation.
The professor, by the way, looked and dressed almost exactly like Percival from Little House on the Prairie.
Oh yes, and he was convinced I was in love with him. Anytime I had a question or offered any insight (which wasn’t often because again, I was too afraid to look stupid) he’d give me this knowing little smirk like he thought I was sending him subliminal messages of my love. Thankfully, he couldn’t say or do anything about it because of his position.
I may have received higher grades than I deserved in that class. But I really couldn’t be sure.
Anyway, here I was at the professor’s desk, asking about word count, when he lit up and started babbling about another student’s essay and how he wanted me to look it over and give my opinion. At first I said no, because I didn’t think it was my place to grade anyone’s papers unless the whole class was grading each others, but he kept pressing it. Then he mentioned it being Ben’s essay and I was really against it because I barely knew a thing about business or computers and I figured if anyone did know it was him. Plus, I had a crush on Ben and didn’t want him annoyed at me for editing things I had no business editing. (But I didn’t say that last part out loud. :P) The professor said he wasn’t interested in my expertise on the soundness of the essay, but he wanted an opinion on the writing style and how it might grab the attention of your everyday consumer. (Flashback to Confessions of a Shopaholic.) So I very warily obliged and peeked at the paper.
I don’t remember much about it, but I did make a suggestion that the title be changed to elicit more immediate interest. I thought the professor was going to make a note of it and send me back to my seat, but much to my embarrassment, he called over to Ben and said, “Your essay title should be changed to…’Whatever My Suggestion Was.'”
If any of you watches Parks and Rec, you should know the look Ben gives when he has no idea what’s going on. He gave that look right then.
And I responded with an awkward grin/wince/thumbs-up gesture which produced yet another confused eyebrow-raise from Ben. Then he came over to get his essay and I just shook my head at everything the professor said, hoping Ben would believe I had not willingly critiqued his essay title.
He changed it though. And he didn’t seem to mind. When he went back to his seat the professor turned to me with his creepy smirk and said, “Thank you for doing that for me.” I just blinked at him and said, “Riiight.” But I was thinking: I only did it because you forced me to!! GAAAAHH!
Needless to say I was very upset at Professor Percy.
The end of it was Ben and me walking out together, making awkward jokes about the awkward incident and deciding to eat lunch together.
So that was nice. :)
But I would still never take that class.