Last night I dreamed I was engaged. Then he broke it off because I made a negative comment about his driving. I believe my exact words were, “Wasn’t that a stop sign?” Of course, I was clutching the seat and my eyes were bulging as I killed our love with those words, but still. The message is clear. If you want to keep your man, do not remark on his driving in anything less than a sincerely complimentary tone.
That was a lesson for you ladies.
Now, for the gentlemen. I will use an example from work.
Male Employee #1: Sees me carrying a busing bin to the kitchen with something like double my own weight in ceramic dishes, trays, and silver wear. Watches as I precariously try to balance half of the bin’s weight on the counter in order to push aside lids and plastic things to fit said bin on said counter, praying every moment that I don’t pull a muscle in my neck or back. With me still huffing and panting from the backbreaking work I accomplished, Male Employee #1 stares at the loads of dirty eating implements and merely says, “Wow. That’s a lot of dishes.”
Male Employee #2: Sees me carrying a busing bin to the kitchen with a few large bowls in it. Says, “Oh, princess!” and rushes forward before I make it across the BOH line, taking the bin from my hands and placing it on the counter for me. Then proceeds to thank me for bringing the dishes back to him and declares that I am the best.
Note to men seeking girlfriends, wives, or desirous to keep female relatives in good humour. Don’t be a Man Fail. Be a Male Employee #2.