Convictions & Comforts

5 Dead Guys I Love

My current Facebook status reads:

I had this really elaborate dream where I was sneaking a group of mythical monsters out of a Gothic castle to escape the evil Dr. Frankenstein who was running experiments on them all. We saved the mermaid by dropping her off at Sea World, but the gentle ogre had trouble keeping pace, and the wingless fairies kept complaining and taking rest stops, so we couldn’t make it indoors before the sun came up, and whatever organs the zombie had left started imploding. I held his hand and cried while he died, (again) and then his rotten body turned into the form of a gorgeous prince, which was very upsetting because he was already dead. Story of my life, really. All the men I love are already dead.


This is true. I think the real reason I have not yet been in a serious relationship with a man is because all the ones I would allow to woo me have been dead for some time. : P My coworkers were making fun of me last week about the type of man I require since I flirt more with those over 65 than anyone in my age group. I don’t remember everything that was said, but this ideal man chopped wood, lit lanterns, tended baby animals, and wore 19th century linen shirts and boots. (Sounds just fine to me!) Honestly, I don’t require all that–though it would be a bonus–but I do want a very old fashioned man at heart.

In light of that, here are ten dead guys I love. (When I say dead, I mean not among the earthly living. Most of these I’m really hoping to find in heaven, someday.)

1. Prince Albert
The Victorian man. I mean, he married Victoria! Husband, father, social reformer, well-rounded in art, science, religion… *sigh* I want a Victorian man.

Prince Albert Family

2. William Wilberforce
I had an historical crush on this man since I was about ten years old; before Ioan Gruffudd portrayed him in the 2006 Amazing Grace film. But you know, that just sealed the deal.

3. Charlton Heston
Ben-Hur. The Ten Commandments. Either one of his roles in those films would enough. But he was lead in both of those epics, and just all around an awesome guy. In my opinion, he’s cooler than Chuck Norris. Oh yeah. I went there!

4. Alexander Hamilton
Can’t say that I’m fond of all his policies and moral ambiguity, but dang, that man was fine! I’m sure he was quite the charmer in his day, and by George, his signature was lovely! If I had it my way, I’d change all the 20 dollar bills to 10’s. Then our currency would be as beautiful as can be.

5. Joshua
Maybe this is The Ten Commandments influencing me again, but… okay, no. Even when I was a wee lassie and had not yet seen the manly specimen of John Derek playing him, Joshua was always my favourite Biblical hero. One of only two spies who did not grow faint of heart while surveying the land of Canaan; a ready soldier, a faithful leader; God stopped the sun and the moon to win him a victory at Gibeon. And who could forget the battle of Jericho?

John Derek Joshua

“Now therefore, fear the Lord, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord! And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Joshua 24:14-15


3 thoughts on “5 Dead Guys I Love

  1. I thought that you said “ten dead guys”? And prince Albert is wearing knickers……
    p.s. we missed you last Sunday!

    1. Maaaybe I started this thinking I would post ten, and then I realized that the other half were not only dead, but also fictional. : P Or maybe you’re supposed to guess the last five.

      Obviously, I’m too lazy to fix it, so I’m stuck with trying to justify it. : P

      Just so you know, it was not my decision to sleep through the game at my house as opposed to yours!! I missed being there!

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