Music & Lyrics · Uncategorized

Ten Songs For Work

1. When you’re left alone on the production line because everyone else is on break:

Aaaaaaaall bah maaaaseeyeeelf!

2. When someone asks how long you’ve worked there:

For the longest time…

3. When someone asks how long their latte/bagel/sandwich/any part of their order is going to take (because honesty is key):

Far longer than foreverrrr!

4. When it’s past the end of your shift but you’re still there because the boss hasn’t pulled your cash drawer yet, and you’ll use any means, fair or foul to get him to let you go home:

No, this works. I did it yesterday. Just sing your little heart out and tell ’em you won’t stop until he lets you go home. Tweaking the words helps too.

Look at this cafe, isn’t it neat?
Wouldn’t you think my shift is complete?
Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl… the girl who’s done… everything!
Look at this cash flow. Treasures untold! How many Hamiltons fit in one drawer?
Lookin’ around here you’d say, “Sure! Send her home, pretty please!”
It’s ten minutes past my shift already. I’ve done tiring transactions galore.
Do you see that clock? It’s six-twenty.
I’m done here! So dead tired! Please, Bossman, no mooooore!
I wanna be… where the people are…

Then the rest you sing like usual, and by then he’ll probably be sick of your singing and get you out of there so you don’t have to worry about making the rest of it work.

5. In that awkward moment when you and your coworker are weaving around each other like crazy trying to fill separate orders and you end up elbowing them/stepping on their toes/brushing up against them and they ask what the heck you’re doing:

I had no idea this video was so fabulous! : D

6. When someone stresses the French pronunciation of a word just to be smug, or orders a pain du chocolat instead of just saying “a chocolate pastry” because they think working at an American bakery means you’ve never taken French and want to make you feel stupid:

7. When someone’s taking too long to order:

They usually don’t end up ordering a zigga-zig-uh. Just fyi.

8. When someone tries to use a knife without a cut glove or reach for soup without the temp glove:

STOP! In thaaa naaaame of love!

9. When someone asks what your goals with the company are:

I just wanna see the floating lanterns gleam! …Like all you lovely folks, I’ve got a dream!

10. Anytime your fellow coworkers need a little spirit-booster:

I see me runnin’ through that open dooohoooor!


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