Miscellaneous · World Away From Word

Married Life

Of our wedding:

I expected the ceremony to be more… scary than it was. I suppose I thought vowing before God and our witnesses to be ever faithful and true to my husband might be more… nerve wracking? And that’s not to say that I didn’t say my vows with a sober understanding of their full significance, and the knowledge that only God’s grace will keep me faithful to hold fast to them, but at the same time, it was so easy to make those promises. I’m certain various parts of our vows will prove harder to keep over the coming years, but there was no doubt in my mind or heart that this was the man I wanted to promise a life of service and love to.

Even though I have no regrets in our decisions regarding the material details of the ceremony and reception, I think I can say in all honesty (along with a few other key participants) that I am glad it’s over. Not that it wasn’t beautiful, and elegant, and everything we dreamed it would be, (minus a few freak-outs and pitfalls the days leading up to it) but putting a wedding together is stressful. I am so thankful for my maid of honour and her family, who kept me sane during the tumultuous days of late RSVPs, sudden additions to the guest list, detail questions I had put in the hands of the venue/coordinator for a reason, and a host of other little things that didn’t matter to me anymore, but kept getting asked of me anyway. And I’m also abundantly thankful that we booked a venue that took care of catering, set up, break down, clean up, and everything I did not want family or friends having to worry about.

I actually remember most of the sermon too, which is good, yet somewhat surprising, given the circumstances. And I only burst into uncontrollable tears once, during the second stanza of Great is Thy Faithfulness. I love the pictures of Husband and his smiling, tearful expression as I’m walking down the aisle towards him. I cried over how delicious and beautiful our wedding cake was, made by a friend and previous fellow Panera coworker! And of course, both our mothers cried a lot. :)

Of our honeymoon:

I could not have possibly imagined a better honeymoon. I am so glad Husband insisted on budgeting for a “real, overseas honeymoon” and that I (eventually) stopped fretting about money and listened to him, because Korea was everything I’d dreamed of, and I loved every moment there. Korean Air, people. Fly with them if you can. It is so fantastic. Even in economy, everyone is treated with so much consideration and respect. We all got a free bottle of Jeju Island water, a packet with a blanket, slippers, headphones for the telly sets, and stickers to put on your head rest to indicate whether you wished to be left alone to sleep or awoken for meals! None of our American flights were anywhere near so accommodating. Even the flight attendants on our way home were rather snippy and unkind. Not so with the Korean flights! I tried to ask for things in Korean as much as possible to get used to it, and there was one exchange regarding tea where neither the flight attendant nor I spoke a word of English, and we understood each other perfectly!

We stayed in a nice hotel in Daegu–the fourth largest Korean city, in the south-eastern part of South Korea. Our hotel spit us out right across from a park (which we had a lovely bird’s-eye view of from our room) and right alongside an underground shopping mall, where we learned to take shortcuts in and out of to avoid crossing streets (the traffic WILL kill you; no one jaywalks in Korea) or walking long distances in the rain.

I felt very justified in watching all those K-dramas and insisting they were educational, because so much about them helped me feel totally comfortable with the culture, and among people who spoke little to no English. I fumbled, and failed, and said things probably not-quite-right at times, but I had more than a few “conversations” with Koreans who I understood fairly well. Everywhere we went, I was excited to see that my clothing choices were “Korea approved.” And of course, there was bowing. So much bowing. I miss that here. I miss the bowing, and the “Kamsahamnida!” after every exchange.

We also frequented this little coffee shop across the street from our hotel. The coffee in Korea is amazing. Better than any Starbucks, Peet’s, or any coffee I’ve ever had here in the Americas. Wow! We were stopping in every day, and the sweet lady owner there got to know us pretty well.

Oh! Another thing about honeymooning in Korea! People give you free stuff, just for being cutesy newlyweds! Everywhere we went, there were photo ops, free desserts, free drinks, and the food is already really cheap there! The only thing I think Koreans love more than newlyweds is babies. My sister-in-law was our taxi and tour guide for a lot of our trip, (she was amazing!) and whoever held her adorable son at the time had the eyes of every Korean in the vicinity glued on them. Even guys fan-boy over a baby there! Squeals and all!

Everything was lovely. I was already prepared for the spicy food from our stateside Korean Market’s food court, (I think I have a slightly higher spice tolerance than Husband) but of course it’s different when all the Korean dishes are at your fingertips! Some of the most memorable touring we did was of E-world–the amusement park with setups for couple photos around every corner; Racoona Matata, a cafe where they have live raccoons scurrying around the place while you drink/eat; and Daegu Tower, where we went to the 78th floor to Ashley’s Grill, had an 8 course meal with wine, and sat on cushy couches while the floor ever so slowly rotated for a full nighttime view of the whole city! It was the fanciest place I have ever been to, and it was so exciting to realise I still knew in what order to use all my silver wear!

I must say, I’m so, so glad to have a husband who doesn’t stress the small stuff, and was equally contented to either stay at the hotel, marathon watching Queen In Hyun’s Man, or explore the city’s nightlife on a whim. We could wander about, get a little bit lost, poke around shops, walk to the hotel from base, hail taxis, and just enjoy pretending to belong there without either of us getting angsty or defeated when things didn’t go as planned. I do stress out when I know someone I care about isn’t enjoying themselves as much as I am, so the fact that together we have a proper balance of adventurous and laid back makes me really happy.

Reality hit just a little bit on our way home, navigating Incheon Airport to check in for our flights back to the States. We had a 9 hour layover there, and initially we planned on exploring some of Seoul during that time, but instead took turns sleeping on the benches near the phone charging stations, once we figured out where we’d need to be by the time our flight popped up on the screens. We got a little grumpy during the airport confusion, wandering around a lot with all our luggage, and having a few miscommunication foibles, (between each other, not the Koreans :P) but then we found a Korean Burger King, and pigged out on burgers and fries, and felt much more like our amiable selves again. :)

The flights home were pretty rough. Especially in comparison to the lovely time we had on the Korean flights. But we persevered, and I don’t remember either of us snapping at each other or whinging–unless it was sympathetic whinging, like, “Oh, poor husband! You look as tired as I feel!” Or, “Are you upset? You look upset. Okay… as long as you’re not upset at me.” :P

Of married life:

We moved into our apartment pretty quickly! People still ask if we’ve unloaded all the boxes from storage, and unpacked everything, and we had that done within the first few weeks of living here. Of course, we still don’t have a slip cover for our oh, so comfortable, but rather ugly couch, or a proper coffee table, so I use my costume bin for that, but all in all, I’m pretty proud of the job we did! Our apartment is so cosy, and homey, and just… everything we could want. Also, we have a washer and dryer. And a guest room! Which has been dubbed KitKat’s Cove, as it was designed with her in mind. :)

And of course, I’m super in love with being married. This is the part I was about to apologise for, in it being just a gush of obvious “I love my husband” platitudes, but this is my blog, so I can be unapologetically gushy about whatever or whomever I wish! So I am not sorry. :P

I love all the little things that mean being married to him. I love that when we first married, all of three months ago, I was the one that needed some kind of contact while we slept, be it my forehead against his back, or holding hands, or a foot touching him. I thought that was just me and my physical touch neediness, and it would always be that way. But now, when he falls asleep first, he’ll reach for me when he sleeps. He’ll pull me closer, or drape an arm over me, nudge me with his foot to make sure I’m there, or come out to find me on the couch and say, “I woke up and you weren’t next to me, so I came to find my wife.” :)

I also love his snore. Yeah, we’re definitely still in the honeymoon phase of marriage, but since spousal snoring is always such a widely expressed annoyance, I’m surprised by how much I am the opposite of annoyed by it. (So far.) It’s such an adorable, snuffly, rumbly baby bear kind of snore, and when I can’t sleep, I love laying in bed, just listening to it. It’s like, “Aw, he’s so cosy! And that’s my husband. Being cosy in bed, asleep next to me. Because we’re married.”

I love that deployments aside, he’s here to greet every morning and night, and we go to our church together, and have devotions in person, and he begs me to “let” us buy a Star Wars shower curtain, and I convince him that we definitely need a “Speak Friend, and Enter” doormat, because the rest of the welcome mats are ridiculously generic and/or ugly. I love the hundred or so little things that we’re already becoming accustomed to about living together, and that the arguments we’ve had were over fairly silly things, and they always end in a happy resolution, or an amused teasing. I’m glad we debate over stupid things, because it means we don’t let things grow to grand proportions before we hash it out. Even if it seems completely ridiculous, if it bothers us, we say so. And 90% of the time, that means a conversation like this…

“Honeeeeey, could you throw your straws away before you put your cups in the sink?”

“The garbage makes me throw up, though. I can put them aside, on the shelf, maybe?”

“You can throw them as close to the garbage as you can, and then I’ll throw them in the trash later.”

“Or I can make a special, personal trash, just for straws!”

“…”

“Okay, I won’t put the straws in the sink anymore.”

“Thank you. I love you!”

“*giggles* Love you, too! Look! I have three hearts, now, for Luke!”

I also loved making meals for two, that turned into meals for 8+ because I have no concept of small portions after cooking for 14, and I used to love using every wedding gift in the kitchen before writing the thank you notes so I could personalise something about what we did with the gift given. And yes, I say “used to” and “loved” in the past tense, not because I wouldn’t love to still be a little Betty Crocker, but because…

Of our “little” addition:

Here’s the announcement from Facebook, text part updated to reflect current progression:

poppet-player-3-loading

Achievement Unlocked: Crafted Offspring

New Player Data:
-14 weeks since installation completed.
-Causes major lagging in Player 2, also enhanced Sense of Smell and Food Sensitivity x100.
-First and second check-ins at medical facility confirms all systems operating normally.
-Expected June 30th
-Player 1 leveled up in Husband Skills;
Hunting/Gathering for added Craving Satisfaction gifted to Player 2
Food Residue Destruction
Increased Garbage Disposal Speed
Meal Crafting and Delivery

Pending Quest:
Character Creation – Gender Reveal
Update Expected February 6th

It probably goes without saying that we are ever so excited, and thankful for our tiny, (currently peach-sized) blessing. ^^ But I shall say it anyway, because it’s that thankfulness and expectation of future joy that gets me through the most horrendous bouts of nausea, exhaustion, and pain. (Which there has been pleeenty of.) And now that our church family knows about Baby Poppet, we have all their prayers and support, and I thank God every day for them.

So, yes. “Morning” sickness has been 24/7 with this wee bairn. Something that tastes good one day, probably won’t the next. Except bagels with cream cheese, Pink Lady apples, and French Toast, I have discovered. I can make and eat French Toast quite happily! Other than that, I can barely open my fridge or look at a sink full of dishes without losing my last meal. And sometimes, I don’t even have to walk in the kitchen to have my stomach rejecting all its contents!

Being pregnant with this one is kind of like living with a person who is the polar opposite of me. But the person is living inside me and creating the contrary hormones, which makes it crazier. Does mummy like long, hot showers? Oh, yes, but hormones say a closed, steamy room is the worst. Do think my pot roast was a delicious success? Certainly, but Poppet symptoms let me have five bites and then said, “This is awful. Why are we eating this? Get rid of it. Where’s the nearest garbage?” Do I enjoy sleeping through the night? Of course, because I’m a sane human being, but Poppet sickness thinks sleeping should be done in shifts, with lots of naps throughout the day, and no sleeping between the hours of midnight and 6AM.

I do have prescription anti-nausea meds, which after trying every natural remedy suggested by friends, families, and Facebook folk, I turned to in despair. Those worked wonders for all of three nights. Then I think my body caught on and they stopped working, too. I am praying constantly that this “morning” sickness lasts only through the first trimester, like the baby app says. I know several women who were sick through the entire pregnancy, and I do not wish to be that. I miss making big breakfasts and dinners, and serving meals in pretty dishes, and then doing all the dishes I dirtied. I miss having the stamina to tidy my house every day, and drive my husband to work, and go grocery shopping while he’s gone, so he comes home to a well stocked fridge, a hot meal, and a clean house. Instead, I’ve been kind of useless the past two months, and it’s a miracle if I can make the bed without getting dizzy, or too sick to move for the next six hours.

And to go on about my husband yet again… He takes the best care of us. Through the food sensitivities, and the throwing up, and the times when I just have to lay on the bed in a damp little towel, because the shower made me sick again, and I can’t dress myself, to the emotional breakdowns where I burst into tears because I wanted to take care of our house and my husband, and he ends up working crazy night watches, and early morning shifts, and when he comes home he still has to fix food for me. Through it all, he’s so cheerful, so encouraging, has the most exceptional servant’s heart, and is always assuring me that making a baby is enough work for me to worry about right now. Of course, that just makes me cry harder, because I immediately want to do something for him in gratitude, but am incapable of the simplest tasks.

But I’m learning to let go of those expectations for myself and just take each thing I’m able to get done as a blessing. Little by little, I’m able to do laundry one day, make dinner the next, and sometimes get all the dishes done, save a few very pungent things, like garlic presses or peanut butter spoons.

Currently, I’m taking a holiday of sorts back in California while Husband is deployed. I’m staying at me KitKat’s house, where the nausea has subsided quite a bit, and I’m eating regular meals again! Of course, this house always smells like fresh citrus and fabric softener, so that certainly helps. :) And the little table near my daybed looks like it belongs to a 95 year old woman with ten different ailments, but at least my prenatal vitamins come in gummies! No more throwing up my horse pellets! :P

This is the first time since marriage that I’ve been back in town, and so I’m hoping the nausea gets ever less frequent and I’m able to do all the mini-reunions planned with friends and family without trouble. As long as I’m in bed by 11ish, and able to sleep in past 9, I seem to do well.

We move again (to the east coast) come March, and we’re both really excited about Husband’s new position there, although there’s a lot of ground to cover in terms of house hunting, and birth planning, and best airport to fly into before we can be properly settled. At least this time we’ll be established for 2-3 years, so our next big cause shall be pet adoption! :D

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Married Life

  1. Squeeeee!!!!!! LITTLE BABY POPPET!!!!

    I loved reading this update! Married life suits you so well! Your wedding day looked glorious, and your honeymoon sounded so perfect for you, and your married life musings are adorable. I’ve never been very annoyed by snoring either. I don’t find it CUTE, but it doesn’t really bother me that much.

    Congratulations!!!!

    Kristina

    1. :D :D :D

      Thank you so very much!! I’m starting to get emotional in anticipation of being home again and maybe getting back to kitchen business. :) And confirming the gender of our wee Poppet!

      Did you notice Husband’s ring is the One Ring? :D I feel bad for not telling our photographer which way to shoot it, because she put it so the Elvish is upside-down, but he loves it possibly more than I love my engagement ring! XD

      1. Finding out the gender is always the most fun thing! Well, before you birth and then get to watch the baby grow. Hehe.

        Ah,I didn’t notice the ring! That’s amazing. I want to get N a One Ring someday!

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